A Welcome Change
by Kirameku Awa
Summary: AU Nicolette is a normal, put-together book author that happens to live by the exciting and mysterious Jay Gatsby. She is impressed by his lifestyle and believes that he would never be impressed or interested in someone like her. But who knows? She might be a welcome change. GatsbyXFemmNick
1. Chapter 1

Author Notes: Hey guys! A little note before you read the story below. The Great Gatsby is one of my favorite books and I was so mad about the ending of said book. If you never read the book, close this page and read the stupid book! I will not give away the ending if you never read the book!...

Ok anyway I love Gatsby because he is the perfect anti-hero (look it up, it's a real thing!). The movie The Great Gatsby in 2013 is my favorite movie. So inspired by the book and the wonderful movie, I wrote this. Enjoy! I don't own the book or movie The Great Gatsby.

* * *

It was a warm summer day when I first saw Jordan and Daisy talking with a soldier at Daisy's side. I could hear the conversation and I rolled my eyes. How Daisy got people to do things for her is beyond me. I went back to writing in my journal; I write poetry and stories, when I felt someone's eyes on me.

The soldier was staring at me and he smiled. It was a warm smile, a welcoming smile; I smiled back and waved shyly. He stood and excused himself from the girls. He was walking towards me and I couldn't breathe.

"Hello."

"Good afternoon, what is a lovely woman doing here all alone?"

I blushed but smiled.

"I'm not alone. Anyway, I see you know my cousin."

He looked back and looked at me with a confused expression. The expression was priceless and adorable.

"Which one?"

"Daisy Fay, the other's my friend, Jordan Baker. My name's Nicolette Carraway."

"What a queer name."

"Yes, but I like it. My friends called me Nick or Nicolette."

"Nick…"

He looked at me and smiled. He wanted me to come back to the side with me and I followed. Daisy and Jordan watched me with amusement.

"Is that why you left us, Jay?"

I looked at 'Jay' and gave him a confused and amused expression.

"Is that your name?"

"Yes…"

He looked shy and I smiled playfully at him.

"And you called my name queer."

Instead of shying away, he smiled and took my hand. He kissed it gently and looked at Daisy.

"Daisy, your cousin is as witty as she is pretty."

I couldn't help myself; I giggled and hid my face because I knew it was turning redder and redder. They laughed at my shyness and Jay asked me one last question.

"What do you want to do with your life?"

I looked back at Jay, Daisy, and Jordan, all eagerly awaiting my answer. I looked at the house I was staying at and at the people. I smiled and told them exactly what I wanted to do with my life.

"I want to be a writer. I'm going to be famous someday and I'm going to live in the most beautiful city in the whole world. I'm going to be married to a wonderful man with money and I'll have a garden, yes…yes…a garden all to myself."

I danced around them and walked towards the house. When I looked back they were still watching me and I wrote something down. I made it into an aeroplane and threw as hard as I could. It landed in Jay's hands and I walked away. What was the note, you ask?

"'Stay safe soldier. Come home to all the beautiful ladies who need men like you.'"

Five Years Later

I've finally got my wish. I finally moved east to New York, the most beautiful city in the whole world. Not everyone back home was supportive of my decisions; my father for example. He wanted me to give up my dream of being a writer and have me marry Humphrey Rein, a rich man with a heart of coal.

No thank you.

So I finally moved East to New York on the coast of an island divided by a sound. I lived on West Egg, in a small cottage that my cousin, Daisy, bought me. She lived right across the sound and she promised me that she would support me until I got famous.

I opened the cottage door and stepped inside. I noticed something; the large window faced the castle-sized estate next to my humble home. I noticed someone in the window looking at me. I waved out of politeness and closed the drapes.

The next days were amazing to say the least. I had one of my books published and I had my garden that I wanted. Some of my dream was complete.

I was wearing a pair of old overalls and my hair was in my face when a man in a blue suit walked up to me in my garden.

"Madam…"

His voice was a combination of British and age.

"…You are invited to a party at Gatsby Manor tonight."

He handed me a blue invitation and walked away. I read the invite over and over until I memorized the blue thing. I went inside and went to changing and cleaning myself up. I picked a baby blue dress with black trimming and tied my hair up into a ponytail.

The moment I walked across the lawn I realized that it was a big party. People poured in from everywhere and they were loud and rowdy.

I walked from room to room to find this Gatsby and I found myself in the middle of a party. I walked up some stairs, taking a glass of alcohol and sipping it lightly.

"Having a good time Old Sport?"

I looked and saw a handsome man with blonde hair and blue eyes looking at me and I couldn't help but smile back. He felt familiar, like I knew him from a dream I had long ago.

"Quite though I wish I knew this 'Gatsby.' The man seems to be a ghost."

He looked at me with confusion as he shouted over the fireworks.

"I'm Gatsby! Jay Gatsby!"

"Jay…"

Suddenly it clicked the daring features and the smile. I broke out into a huge smile and he took my hand like he did before.

"Welcome Old Sport, to my humble abode."

I giggled again and took his hand.

"It's so good to see you again, Soldier."

He smiled that smile that had me smiling all those years ago but instead of the familiar feeling of friendship, I felt something stir inside of me. I haven't ever felt that way before, pondering it although I could write it down and examine it. I shook my head when Gatsby took my hand and pulled me away from the main attraction of the party into the library.

"I can't wait to talk to you."

"Master Gatsby, Chicago is on the phone."

Gatsby waved him away as though he was a gnat and continued to pull me into the largest collection of books I've ever seen. He pulled up a green plush chair and helped me sit in it. He stood.

"How long has it been Old Sport?"

"I'd said five or six years, friend. You made quite a name for yourself here."

"Well yes, I dare say I've been quite fortunate to have such a vast amount of money."

I looked him up and down and I realized something.

Jay Gatsby was handsomer now than when I first met him.

Although he filled out his uniform nicely, the tailored suits looked even better on him. He dared to wear a lavender tinted suit with a silver shirt and dark purple tie. His blonde, oiled hair was neat and handsome. He wore a ring with a sapphire stone in the middle and he still had that dazzling white smile I remembered.

He had something in his hands and as he showed me I recognized the title.

'Life's Greatest Treasure,' by Nicolette Carraway.

"You have my book…" It was more an answer than a question.

"You're a talented writer, Old Sport, a lot better than most today."

I looked into his eyes, his beautiful baby blue eyes and blushed. When did they become so lovely?

"You…you really think so?"

"I know so."

I stood up and walked towards him. I took the book and opened it to page 101. I found my favorite part in the entire book.

"'Never in my life have I found a more interesting man than Mr. Robert Falls. Even with his millions and priceless gems and clothes, he was humble and generous to everyone he met. Strong like a soldier but gentle like a gentleman; I am proud that I, Rose Danielle Fay, am able to call him my closest friend.'"

I looked up and smiled.

"I hope you know I based him off of you."

"Me?"

"Yes, you. From the moment I met you, Gatsby, I knew you were gonna be big. But I never in my wildest dreams imagined how big!"

He smiled that award-winning smile and took my hand.

"Let's rejoin the party before they tear my house apart."

* * *

That night was the last time I allowed myself more than one drink in a sitting. I didn't like to drink, solely on the fact that people when they're drunk, they say things they don't mean or let secrets go because they're not thinking straight. I drank so much that I can still remember the night but I wasn't myself.

I was making myself a cup of breakfast tea when I heard a knocking at the door. I tied my hair up and opened the door to find Gatsby trying to fix his lapel.

"Gatsby?"

"Old Sport, lovely morning isn't it?"

I stepped outside and looked around.

"Quite. What are you doing here?"

"You left before the party was over and I wanted to make sure you were ok."

I crinkled my eyebrows in concentration and vaguely remembered stumbling in my lawn with music still ringing in my head.

"Oh…I'm sorry."

"Whatever for Old Sport?"

"I was a little drunk and I decided to come home before I said or did anything I might regret."

The morning sun felt warm on the front of my shirt and I looked at Gatsby again. He was wearing a pink suit with a white shirt and pink tie. I felt undressed and nervous.

"I was wondering if you would like to come to the city and have brunch with me and a friend of mine."

"Of course, I would love to come."

He started to walk to his car parked in my tiny plain driveway.

"Just…let me get dressed."

He turned around with a confused expression on his face which quickly turned into realization and then shyness. I think he finally realized that I was only wearing an old, ratty tank top and a pair of soft shorts that my cousin gave me. The expression made me laugh a little and I smiled an easy smile.

After I get dressed, we take off and he was driving like a madman. He started passing everyone in his way; we hear horns and finally the magical sound.

"Police, stop!"

He rolled his eyes and showed the policeman a white card. The policeman turned pale and he told Gatsby to have a great day. I watched him pull back behind us.

"How did you do that?"

"I was able to do a favor for the police commissioner once. He sends me a Christmas card every year."

People waved to us as we passed, some from the party others from the favors Gatsby gave. The more we passed Gatsby's adoring fans, the more excited I grew.

"Old Sport, what do you think of me?"

"Whatever do you mean?"

"I mean, when you hear my name, what do you think of?"

He couldn't have asked me a harder question. I thought about it and pondered my answer. What _did _I think about Gatsby?

When I heard Gatsby's name, I thought of the wild parties, his dazzling smile and the man I first met five years ago. I smiled as the image of a soldier popped into my head.

"Old Sport?"

"What do I think of you?"

I turned slightly in my seat to face him and I looked at his face, not once glancing away.

"When I hear your name, three words pop up."

I lifted my three fingers and counted the words as I told him.

"Grand," thinking of his parties.

"Dazzling," smiling at the smile he gave me.

"And honorable."

"Honorable?"

"Yes, Gatsby, honorable; you are so generous that you throw expensive parties for people you hardly know and someone told me you once gave a woman a dress because she tore hers on a chair!"

I smiled at him and wondered why he cared about what I thought about him. I mean, I am a successful author but he is JAY GATSBY, the richest man in New York! My opinion shouldn't matter at all but I'm glad it does.

We finally arrived in one piece to a restaurant I've seen on my way to the West Egg. He gave the keys to a valet and ushered me inside when a man took us to a table with two people already sitting there.

"Nicolette!"

"Daisy!"

It had been too long since I had last seen my cousin. She looked splendid and the years haven't changed her at all. Once I had let her go, she told me that the man sitting next to her was her husband, Tom.

"How do you do?"

"Now Nick, there's no need to be so formal!"

Tom stood and hugged me as tight as I did to Daisy and I swear he picked me up a little bit in the process. When I was released, Gatsby pulled out a chair for me and we ordered our food. It wasn't long before the music started and some of the people started dancing.

"Oh, Nicolette, let's dance together!"

"Oh no Daisy I…I can't."

"Come on! It'll be fun!"

"Daisy, why don't you and me dance together and we'll leave Gatsby with Nick to play catch up."

Daisy pouted slightly but walked onto the dance floor with her husband. Sometimes I think she hates being married solely because she can't be like all the other women her age but other times she loves being the only one that can love Tom. I watched Tom and Daisy dance to the jazz, flowing like water with the others.

"Why can't you dance?"

"Never learned."

That was a lie. I knew how from Daisy. She once told me that music isn't a right or wrong thing, that all you need is the will to move.

"Why don't you try?"

That was the question wasn't it?

"Cause I know I'm no good."

"Didn't you ever try?"

"No."

"Than why don't you?"

I had no real answer for that. I was trying to make up an excuse and a lie to make him stop trying to get me to dance but he was quicker to my reasoning.

"Either you stand up and take my hand now or I'll pull you out of the chair. Your choice."

He had me trapped and he knew it. I took his hand and he pulled me into the swarming mass of bodies and music. He chose to hold me like a fragile vase until I finally broke contact with him. He glared at me in a way that terrified me. He pulled me back into his embrace and we began to dance.

"I promise to not let you go."

"But Gatsby!"

I pulled my arm out of his grasp and I got as far as the hallway to the restrooms when Gatsby took my arm back.

"Old Sport, why are you so against dancing with me?"

I looked into his eyes and saw he was hurt. He honestly thought I didn't want to dance with him. He thought I was embarrassed to dance with him.

"I…"

"Yes?"

"I…I don't want to embarrass you."

"What?"

I looked away from his pleading eyes but it was in vain because he grabbed my chin and made me look into his eyes.

"I…I don't want you to be embarrassed about dancing with me. I can't dance and Daisy tried teaching me before but I just stumbled and fell a lot. I just didn't want you to be embarrassed by me."

His face turned from hurt to relieved and he grabbed my hands. He pulled me to the dance floor and he waved to the band. They ended the song without anybody noticing and started a slower song. The single people walked back to their tables and the couples started to sway together.

"Follow my lead."

He placed one of his hands on my waist and the other in my hand. I remembered to place my left hand on his shoulder; we didn't move much after that, we just swayed back and forth. The song ended and the couples around us separated but we stayed together for a while before I let his hand and shoulder go.

"We should get back to the table."

I walked away from him without another word because my cheeks were turning red.

* * *

The sound was a crystal blue oasis in the middle of earth. I was never for swimming but the water was too inviting to ignore. With the little money the publishers gave me, I bought a modest swimming suit, never really wondering when I would use it.

I hung my legs over the dock and let the cool water splash me. At this moment I felt at peace with myself and my life; I could die happy at this point. I saw a green blink in the distance and I let my mind wonder; I often did this as a cure for writer's block.

"Enjoying yourself, Old Sport?"

I turned around to find Gatsby on the dock wearing a suit and tie and an amused expression. I lifted my legs up and hugged them close to my chest.

"I am. Where are you going dressed up like that?"

"Business meeting in the city; I just saw you here and thought you'd like to know, Old Sport."

"That's sweet of you, Gatsby."

He smiled and I returned the feeling. Even though he was dressed up to the nines, he would be just as handsome as if he were wearing farmer's garb and a straw hat.

"Gatsby shouldn't you get going, your meeting?"

"Oh, oh yes! My meeting! Would you like to, um, go into the city later today after my meeting?"

"That's a sweet gesture Gatsby but I need to tend to my garden."

"I can have my servants…"

"Thank you but no thank you, Gatsby; I don't like anyone but me to touch my garden."

He smiled and held out his hand and I took it. He helped me up and walked me to my front door.

"What if someone you knew wanted to help you?"

"Then they need to be ready to learn how to garden. Enjoy your meeting, Gatsby."

I watched him walk out down the driveway to his car from the window and I went into my bedroom to change into my overalls.

* * *

The sign that someone was working hard is the sign of dirt. The dirtier someone is, the harder someone worked.

"I should be ashamed of myself! Letting my garden go to ruins like this!"

I looked over all the plots and glared at the weeds that choked my plants.

"Time to weed."

I pulled, cut, threw and toiled in the hot sun, trying to cut all the weeds away and to give the plants and their roots some water and love. Finally the weeds were all gone when someone's shadow interrupted me.

"Would you like some help?"

I looked up to tell Gatsby no when I stopped; I was certain I had heard Gatsby's voice but the man before me didn't look like Gatsby. The man had on denim overalls and a straw hat. His face was covered by a shadow and I looked around to see if Gatsby was there.

"Old Sport, it's me."

"Gatsby! You're in overalls and a straw hat! You almost look like a farmer or a gardener!"

I stood up and I could see his smile. He looked a little uncomfortable and nervous; he kept looking over his shoulder to see if someone was there.

"What's the matter, Gatsby?"

"I haven't worn this outfit in the longest of time. I'm afraid someone will see me."

"Well I saw you."

"You're different; I only wore this to see if you would let me help you. It seems like a giant job if you do it on your own."

I wiped my forehead and looked behind me at my garden. It was a big job and I could use some help…

"Alright, you can help."

I couldn't keep the uncertainness out of my answer. We kneeled in the dirt and I dug a small hole; he did likewise. I gave him a potted flower and I watched him place the plant into the hole. I watched from the corner of my eye so not to worry him but I turned my head finally when he packed the earth around the flower down and stopped.

"Have you done this before?"

"No, but I have watched my gardeners in my free time and I learn quickly."

I smiled a real smile, a smile that showed I trusted him and his skills and handed him another potted plant. We just kneeled there and planted until everything was done.

The garden looked wonderful! The plants were beautiful and healthy and the smell of earth and water filled my senses. I looked at Gatsby and I found that he was dirty. His knees were brown with the wet earth and he was sweaty.

"You look so handsome, Mr. Gatsby."

He looked at me with a star struck expression, like he finally noticed I was standing not six inches away.

"Handsome?"

"Yes, Mr. Gatsby, handsome."

"How can you think of me as handsome when I am like this?"

"I don't see the dirt or the dirty clothes but rather…the man in the dirty clothes, the man who chose to help me personally rather than let me do it by myself…"

He looked at me and I smiled another real smile and I dusted off my hands.

"I don't know about you but I'm going to get clean now. Thank you Gatsby."

"It should be me thanking you."

"Gatsby?"

"You said you wouldn't let anyone touch your garden but you. You let me help you, you trusted me with some you held precious."

I smiled shyly again and looked down at the garden we made together. I looked over everything when I realized something; I was smiling.

Smiling. Smiling wasn't something I did. I never smiled, even before the war, before I was a war nurse, before I saw man after man die at the hands of someone they didn't know. The memories still haunted me after the war and I felt guilty smiling. So I never smiled anymore.

That is before I re-met Gatsby. He brought out something that I had buried deep inside of me, something that made me feel like a young girl again. Something…something that I had to bury because I needed to grow up.

I realized he was speaking to me.

"What?"

"I said, 'What are you thinking of, Old Sport?'"

Should I lie to him and protect him from the mysteries of my past? Or should I proclaim the truth and show him the woman I really am?

"A nice hot shower, Gatsby."

As I watched him smile and walk towards his house, I come to the conclusion that it was better to lie to him than let him see the horrors I saw, dream the nightmares I dreamed, hear the screams like I still do…

It wasn't until later did Gatsby park his bright yellow car outside and honk the horn at me. I was clean and dressed but he came to the door and asked me whether or not I wanted to tour the city with him. I looked back on my house in its current state and grimaced at the messy quarters I called home.

Getting away sounded wonderful but…

"Please Nick…come into town with me…"

Normally Gatsby was cunning and used good reasoning to persuade you to do what he needed to be done but he knew me better than I knew him. He knew I wasn't the kind of woman to drop everything and go. He knew better.

It was with this pleading tone that made me smile on the inside. He was waiting for a 'no'.

"…why not?"

I am not a spiteful or tricking woman but the expression Gatsby gives me when I give him something he doesn't expect is priceless and it gives him a fresh start and break from being Mr. Jay Gatsby to being just Gatsby.

He recovered from the expression and held out his arm for me, which I took in mine and we walked to the car with the sunset fading sleepily over the trees.

* * *

I am not a material girl.

Period.

"Gatsby I don't need these things!"

"But you do my dear!"

I glared at the salesperson as he tried convincing Gatsby that I looked like an autumn rather than the spring Gatsby made me out to be.

"But look at her eyes, man! She had to be a spring!"

"But her brown hair is more autumn than spring!"

I knew I was a summer because of the balance of my skin tone and hair and eyes but I let them fight a little more before someone guessed right.

"What if, old sport, what if she's…a summer?"

I clapped loudly and proudly at Gatsby's answer and they looked at me strangely.

"You knew what you were?"

"Of course, I may be a farmer's daughter but I'm also a lady."

"Why did you tell us?!"

The little mousy man was red in the face and the look of discontent rang through his body.

"You and my friend were fighting so loudly about it that I couldn't voice my opinion."

Many strange and wondrous things happened next; the salesperson walked away, angry but satisfied and Gatsby started laughing as hard as if I told the best joke he's ever heard. Then again maybe it was…

"Old Sport! You are a tricky one!"

I smiled along with him as the flustered salesperson brought me some summer dresses and shirts to fit. Although I've never been able to make these large purchases, I've always wanted to be able to walk down the street wearing a beautiful dress that I bought rather than a dress made from burlap and flannel.

The first one I tried was a sky blue with white trimming and a short skirt. Gatsby shook his head and gestured to the dressing rooms. I went back for a green shirt and dress pants. He did the same thing again.

After a while, I was getting annoyed. He wanted to drag me here to shop and now he's turning down everything I try on! Why am I here if he was just going to berate me?

"No, no, no! It's not right! Everything's wrong!"

"But sir we have the most extensive summer fashions in all of New York!"

While they argued again, I walked around the store and picked out some dresses and clothes that suited me. When I returned, they were still yelling. I had to whistle sharply to grab their attention.

Gatsby didn't say a word but he rather looked at the salesperson and handed him a tip.

"Gatsby…"

"That was trying to help. From now on my man in Britain will pick out the right clothes."

"Gatsby, I really don't need…"

"Nonsense!"

The tone caught me sharply, as though he was annoyed at me. I drew back from him and went to change. After a while, he was holding some shopping bags and I felt sick to my stomach. These clothes cost over four hundred and fifty dollars all together!

I tried talking but we walked out of the store and into the streetway.

"I promise to pay you back, Jay…"

"Nonsense, I wanted to buy these things."

"But Jay…"

He turned sharply and I flinched, holding my arms up as though he would hit me. When nothing happened, I lowered my arms and looked down, afraid to look him in the eyes.

"Nick…"

My head snapped to attention and I looked at him, afraid of what he would do to me. He looked into my eyes and sighed.

"I'm sorry."

"Gatsby…"

"I'm sorry for doing that to you, to that salesperson. I just…I just want to give you everything you would ever want and the looks on your face…"

We were in the middle of the sidewalk and people were staring so I pulled him off to the side and sighed.

"Gatsby, I was getting frustrated with myself. I didn't mean to upset or discourage you. Truth be told, I didn't mind the attention."

"You didn't?" His gaze was hopeful and his tone was doubtful.

"No, I wouldn't have cared if we were here in the city or back in West Egg, I…I just like spending my time with you."

As though the heavens answered my cry of distress, the rain started and we ran to his car, hoping the seats weren't ruined.

* * *

We ran to his mansion and we threw off the heavy water-logged coats. The same butler who invited me to his parties placed him on the coat rack and stood there, waiting for instructions from the master. I realized how alike we were, the butler and I. Both were trained to be a servant and were loyal and fair but unlike the butler, I served no one.

"Old Sport!" Gatsby came running from the back with a smile on his face.

"Gatsby, whatever is going on?"

"The pianist is wake and wishes to play for the lady today."

It took me a few moments to realize that he meant me.

"Well…"

"Over here, m'lady."

A tall woman stood in the doorway and smiled proudly at me. I instantly felt nervous around her.

"Follow please."

Gatsby and I followed this woman down the hallway that lead to an impressive grand piano. She then bowed and left the room to fetch the pianist. I ran my fingers on the white keys and I sat down.

"Old Sport, I'm sorry the pianist is…"

I began to play the grand piano as though I never stopped learning. I stopped four years ago to serve in the war but it was clear in Gatsby's face that I was either very terrible or a master.

As I played more and more, the songs grew together and evolved into a melody I never knew. It wasn't until I ran out of new songs that I ended the glorious sounding music; when I looked behind me, I found out I drew a crowd. The pianist, Gatsby and some more servants were behind me.

"How on Earth…"

"Mr. Edwin, please escort everyone out."

As they left, he threw his arm around my shoulder and laughed.

"Where did you learn to play like that?"

"My cousin taught me when I was staying with her. I also play the violin and the cello."

"My god, I've been hiring entertainment for ages and you were right next door!"

Our laughter was echoing through the giant mansion but neither of us paid it no mind. All we did was sit and play and play and play…

* * *

The next couple of days were quiet, aside from Gatsby coming and offering to garden with me, which I declined. I was working on my next book, "Between the Ashes and the Grave," when my cousin rang the doorbell.

"Nicolette! It's raining like cats and dogs out there!"

"I know; I've been in here all day. Come in and I will make some tea."

After she had gotten dry, we retired to the living room and she asked about Gatsby.

"Gatsby? Well he took me shopping the other day."

"Oh?" Something about her tone I didn't like.

"Yes and it began to rain." We spend most of the day at his mansion talking and exploring the vast estate. She raised an eyebrow and smiled that smile.

"You're not telling me something are you?"

"Actually he let me play his grand piano." This was the truth but not the whole truth.

She seemed upset but satisfied at the answer and sipped her tea; we didn't speak of Gatsby again, and I was happy with that. Daisy has always been the gossiping one of the two of us. I love and trust her but I don't want reporters from everywhere dropping in to get a picture of the two of us together.

"How's Tom?"

"Ok, he's trying to sell the coupe and he's having trouble finding a trustworthy mechanic."

"That little car could get you nine hundred easy."

"That's what Wilson said."

"Wilson?"

"He lives in the middle of the way to the city. You know the place with all the ash and dust? He wants the coupe and is paying top dollar for it."

Wilson…

"Married?"

"To a lady named Myrtle. She doesn't seem too happy about it though."

"Tragic."

The banter went on for a while until Daisy left and I was bored once more. I walked to the window and saw a man's shadow in the large window of Gatsby's mansion. I pretended not to notice; Gatsby was watching me in the window and I wondered what he wanted with me.

In my experience, when a man spends so much on you, he expects something in return…

* * *

The Valley of Ashes was a perfect setting for my book. People looked tired and beat down and envious as I drove through with the coupe Tom wanted to sell. I looked for the sign that would tell me where Wilson was when a woman waved at me from the side of the road. I pulled over to speak politely to her.

"Are you looking for Wilson's?"

"Yes."

"Right this way."

She led me to a garage where I got out and asked for Wilson himself.

"I'm here."

Wilson was a man of medium height and weight with dirty blonde hair and a face that said he was vaguely handsome. He walked over, greeted me, and escorted me to the office.

"Tom sold you the car?"

"Yessum. Eight hundred and fifty dollars. He wanted you to pick it up?"

"And drop the car off."

"No body else is here but me and Myrtle and I'm not gonna let a lady like yourself walk."

This angered me. During the war, the officer in charge of me told me because I was a lady I wasn't allowed into battle making me a field nurse. I hated watching someone else fight for my freedom.

"Hold on."

Wilson left suddenly and returned with a young, handsome man of maybe thirty years old. He had black oiled hair and harsh green eyes but the smile made me feel at ease.

"This here is my assistant. Isn't doing anything today."

"Wilson says I got to drive you home."

"You don't have to."

"T'ain't nothing ma'am."

He spoke like he was western but I didn't ask for details. I felt a strange feeling in my stomach. It felt like attraction but it hurt at the same time. I thanked Wilson again and this strange man whose name I didn't know drove me home. He kept stealing glances until he gathered the courage to ask me my name.

"Nick and yours?"

"Arthur. Do you live in the East Egg?"

"West."

We didn't speak for the longest time until he pulled up to Gatsby's mansion. Gatsby himself was standing there, as though waiting for my arrival. I hopped out of the car and Arthur did the same. We walked to Gatsby who smiled and shook Arthur's hand.

"Old Sport why didn't you tell me you were going to the garage?"

"I was just doing a favor for Daisy. She hates to drive and Tom couldn't do it until night. It was really last minute."

He turned to Arthur who was gawking at the sheer mastery of the mansion. I looked at what he saw through his eyes and I saw the grand building for what it was, a castle built for the royal family of England.

"Thank you for driving my friend home."

"Not a problem, sir."

Arthur took my hand and kissed my palm, sweaty from being in the car and dirty from the ashes. I felt myself flush pink.

"I hope we see more of each other, Miss Nick."

With that, Arthur walked away and got back into his car. He honked the horn and waved at us as he drove away.

"Well that was…odd."

Gatsby didn't say anything and I told him that I was going to go work on my book again. He wished me good luck and waved goodbye once more as I walked the distance to my house. I felt a heavy feeling deep in my heart.

* * *

Gatsby stayed away from me and my house for the next week and a half after we met Arthur. I finished most of my book but it needed an ending. The main character Wilson has just found out where his father is being held hostage and must fight for him.

"Old Sport?"

His voice shocked me as I hadn't heard it for a week but I smiled and turned towards him.

"Gatsby, how pleasant to see you. How have you been?"

"Well and you?"

"Quite, I'm almost finished with my book."

"Good, what's it about?"

"Can't tell you but I still need help with the ending. If you can help me write the ending then and only then you can read it."

"Deal."

And just like that, we forgot about Arthur and the distance between us. We forgot about everything except for the sunshine on our backs.

"Old Sport…"

"What is it, Gatsby?"

"Why…," He faltered as though uncertain how to word his question.

"Why do you live so poorly? Your books are big sellers, but you live like you're a poor farmer."

I was confused at his question but then I looked at my life through his eyes.

He lived in a mansion full of rooms and expensive things and people filter in and out almost every night. I live in a small cottage, hidden by the trees drooping over me; I almost never get visitors and I live alone. I wear poor farmers' garb of flannel and plaid and he wears suits of pastel colors.

'We are so different, he wouldn't understand.'

But then I thought of the time he helped me in the garden and the time he gave me all those wonderful clothes. On both ends we were somewhat even.

"Old Sport?"

"Gatsby…"

I stopped because something felt wrong.

It felt like someone was watching us.

I looked around to the window and saw a man standing there; he was wearing a suit of black and holding a bouquet of daisies. I jumped back and screamed sharply, in which Gatsby got in front of me and the window and the man put his hands up.

"Wait Nick!"

That voice sounded…familiar…

I looked around Gatsby to see the man smooth his oiled hair down. His eyes met mine and I knew exactly who it was.

"Oh my God!"

I ran to the front door and Gatsby followed me confused and curious; the man dropped the daisies and ran to me as quick as he could. He hugged me as tight as he could and smiled at me.

"Private Darren, you old son of a gun."

"Nurse Nick, looking well."

Private Darren looked and saw Gatsby standing there and he saluted sharply and spoke in a voice he used for officers.

"Hello, Commanding Officer Gatsby."

"At ease, private."

I was confused.

"Commanding Officer?"

I turned to him and he turned sheepish.

"You were in the war?"

"Yes…you were a nurse in the war."

"Field nurse, I got shuttled around as the commanding officers saw fit."

I couldn't understand why I didn't see the connection with Gatsby and the war, the way he stood and talked, it was engrained into him. I turned back to Private Darren who smiled at me.

"What are you doing here private?"

"I'm marring my sweetheart, Lauren, today. She wanted you to be a witness today."

"Today?!"

"Yes, you can bring someone if you wish."

Suddenly I ran to my house to change and Gatsby stood there talking with Private Darren.

"Gatsby, if you're going to this wedding, you better get dressed in five minutes or I will take Daisy!"

I never saw two men laugh so hard and run so hard in their lives.

* * *

"I pronounce you man and wife. Kiss the bride."

It was a beautiful wedding, full of laughter and fun. Gatsby even danced with me and another woman. While he was busy dancing with someone, I walked to the garden, alone.

"What's someone as lovely as you doing out here alone?"

I turned and saw someone I never believed to see again in a hundred years.

"Humphrey?"

Humphrey Rein smiled his award winning smile at me and fixed his lapel nervously. His black suit looked clean and freshly pressed and his white shirt was crisp and purely white.

"Humphrey Rein, what in sam hill are you doing here?!"

I was furious with him. That no good, two-timing…

"Nicolette, please, I only want a minute!"

He raised his arms in surrender and I crossed my arms. I was still mad at him but I wasn't unfair.

"Nicolette, please…"

I sighed and told him to tell his story and then get out of my life. He promised to do so.

He told me about the affair he had with my friend, Lauren, and how every time he was with her, he was thinking of me. He regretted every moment we were apart and that he would never cheat on me again if I gave him another chance. He told me stories about the war and the pain he endured and how he missed me. I still hated him but a little bit of me softened.

"Please Nicolette, give me a chance…"

"No, you don't deserve it."

He looked crestfallen and agreed that he didn't. He handed me a card with his number and address for the apartment he was renting in the city.

"In case you change your mind."

He walked away with that cool sadness that I knew about him. I wanted to rip up the card and toss the pieces to the wind like my love for him but instead I pocketed it and walked back inside to go home.

Gatsby's parties always left me wanting more. The fireworks, the champagne and the colorful people… I often separated from Gatsby to explore the rooms and people of the parties but Jordan and Gatsby wanted me to stay close to them for some reason.

"I must use the restroom you two! I will return!"

Their laughter tickled my heart strings and I thought about the two wonderful, loving friends waiting for me in the drawing room. I passed through waves of people and servants, drinking a glass of water to my way to the restroom.

When I reappeared the fireworks were on full blast and most of the guests were watching in wonderment. I walked to the drawing room smiling my biggest smile when I swung open the door.

What I saw next broke my heart; my best friend, Jordan Baker, was in the arms of my neighbor and friend, Jay Gatsby. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes looked at me with shock and guilt. Gatsby's released her and fixed his lapel and began to speak when I noticed the clock.

"Oh my God! Is it really that late?!"

I made my face to show shock at the late hour when my heart was breaking into little pieces.

"Oh my God! I need to get home! I promised my father I would call him by ten!"

It was only ten thirty and I could've used Gatsby's phone but I needed to get out of there. I excused myself quickly and ran out into the crowd with Gatsby calling my name but losing me in the swarm of bodies. I ran to my house and called a taxi which quickly came and picked me up.

"Where to?"

I handed him a card that I didn't know I had. We drove over the bridge and across the Valley of Ashes to a simple brownstone building. I paid him and walked up to the door. I slowly knocked and waited for someone to answer. A small Finnish woman answered and took me to a study with a roaring fire.

"Mr. Rein? There is a woman for you."

Humphrey stood up and caught sight of me and my currant state and he sent the Finn away.

"Nicolette, what is the matter?"

I couldn't speak, couldn't talk; I walked three steps to him and he suddenly pulled me into his arms.

"What happened?"

I still couldn't speak, I sobbed into his front. I was heartbroken and I felt like an idiot for coming here. He wiped my tears away and sat me down into a plush chair and fetched me a cup of tea himself. After a few sips, I regained my ability to speak.

"I'm sorry."

"What happened?"

"…he…he was…"

I was still crying and he patiently wiped the tears away.

"What did he do?"

I swallowed my bitter bile down my throat.

"He was kissing my best friend while I went to the restroom!"

For a moment everything stopped, time stood still. Then in a flash I was in Humphrey's lap and he was comforting me. He didn't ask who and he asked me if I wanted to go home. I shook my head and he led me to a bedroom and wished me goodnight.

* * *

He came in the morning with my favorite tea and toast.

"I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had your heart broken by that no good, two-timing…"

"Daisy said the same about you."

He softened and held my little hands in his strong ones; I forgot how soft his hands felt.

"I've changed. I just want to prove it to you."

I thought about all the good times we had and I couldn't help but feel broken.

"Alright Humphrey, I will give you one chance."

He smiled like he finally had something to live for.

"BUT if you break my heart like you did before," I grabbed his collar and snarled, "I will tear your head off."

He took my face in his hands and smiled at me.

"I promise I will never hurt you again."

He kissed me and I felt like I was twenty again, twenty and in love.

* * *

I got home by a taxi and there on the front porch was Jordan, Daisy and Gatsby.

"Nicolette!"

Daisy ran up and squeezed me tight.

"Oh Nicolette, we have something to tell you!"

I raised my hand and smiled a fake smile.

"No need Gatsby. I figured out last night that you and Jordan were dating and I'm happy for you."

They looked scandalized but I walked inside and looked back.

"My news is bigger; I'm re-meeting an old friend today. I believe he's pulling up…now."

Humphrey's timing was perfect and I disappeared inside to change into my sundress he gave me. I skipped out and he wrapped his arms around me.

"You! I thought you would know better than to come here again!"

Daisy was livid, not only at Humphrey but me. I got inside his car and waved at them.

"Don't wait up!"

We pulled out in a hurry and the next thing I know we're over the bridge and he's pulling into a parking lot. He pulled me into a dance hall and we danced like we once did a long time ago when we were in love and young. My heart was still broken but I couldn't feel the pain when I was with Humphrey.

We ordered champagne and danced some more before we left and drove to the movies. I felt so young and when I finally noticed the clock, I told him I had to go home. He agreed to drive me home.

"I missed you, Nicky."

I blushed at the old nickname and punched him lightly on the arm.

"Don't call me that."

He looked at me and wiggled his eyebrows, his eyes sparkling.

"Or what?"

He looked back to the road and I kissed his cheek, making him swerve and him to glare at me playfully. We made it to my bungalow in one piece and he walked me to the door.

"I love you Nicky."

He kissed my cheek and walked back to his lovely red car. I waved as he drove away. As I walked to the back of my home, I felt the heavy feeling of my broken heart droop over my shoulders like a sad coat. My smile faded and I felt heavier and disgusting.

"Old Sport."

Gatsby and Daisy were sitting on the swing in my garden and they looked relieved. I placed a fake smile on my face and made my tone dreamy and light, much like one who is deeply in love.

"Cousin, Gatsby, what are you doing back here?"

"Waiting for you sweetheart."

They stood up and Daisy hugged me tight.

"I wanted to make sure that piece of trash didn't hurt you."

"Don't speak of him that way."

My tone was harsh and defensive for Humphrey and I pushed her away. I was mad at them and I glared at Daisy.

"You don't know him. I saw him and he's changed. He really loves me and I love him."

I saw Gatsby flinch a little and I was a little happier. Gatsby deserved a little pain.

"But Nick…"

"NO! No Daisy I love you but I will not have you putting down Humphrey! If you are going to be rude and mean to him and our relationship then…then I won't hang around you or Tom anymore!"

I heard her gasp and I ran to the house. I locked the door but I could hear them knocking on it.

"GO AWAY AND NEVER EVER COME BACK!"

My throat was raw and I was exhausted. I passed out on my couch and my dreams were filled with pain and anger.

* * *

I stopped going to Gatsby's parties or visiting Daisy's home. I was avoiding everyone except for Humphrey and some times he was gone for days at a time. I told myself not to worry and believe the stories of business. This went on for months until one day he called me and told me to meet him at the Ritz.

I dressed in a sky blue dress I picked out with Gatsby and I got into the blue car I bought for myself. As I passed through the Valley of Ashes, I stopped to get gas.

"Ms. Nick?"

"Arthur!"

Arthur smiled at me and waved as he filled up my tank.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm meeting up with my man, Humphrey Rein."

"Rein?"

His face was shocked and I didn't like the look. I threw him a dollar twenty and drove away quickly. He was shouting something but I refused to hear. Soon I was in the Ritz following the bellboy to the room.

When he opened the door, I saw Humphrey, Tom, Daisy, Gatsby and Jordan looking back at me.

"Nicky…"

He took me in his arms and kissed me. He smiled at everyone and talked directly to me.

"Oh Nicky I love you so much. That's all I ever want to do."

He got down on one knee and held out a little red box.

"Nicolette Carraway will you marry me?"

I started to cry and I opened my mouth to answer.

"Oh Humphrey…I…I…"

Suddenly Arthur opened the door and glared at Humphrey on the floor. Humphrey looked shocked and embarrassed to be such a position.

"Miss Nick, before you answer that question I have something to tell you."

He moved into the room and took my hands.

"Mr. Rein has been cheating on you with Ms. Myrtle."

"W-what?"

"It's true, look outside."

Myrtle was outside looking at me with disgust and arrogance. She moved into the room and planted her hands on her hips.

"Oh look at you, close your mouth you ugly little toad."

I closed my mouth and glared at Humphrey on the floor.

"Is it true? And DON'T YOU DARE LIE TO ME!"

He looked at the ground and nodded. I felt the tears fall double time. I turned away and wiped them.

"Nicky…Nicky…"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT, YOU TWO-TIMING SON OF A BITCH! I CAN'T BELIEVE I TRUSTED YOU AGAIN! I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME BUT NOW I SEE I CAN'T TRUST YOU WITH ANYTHING!"

I pushed Arthur and Humphrey out of the way and made it to the door. I looked back into the room and looked at everyone.

"I can't trust anyone. I can't love anyone. I…I deserve to live alone and miserable."

Before they could get to me, I ran out to the entrance and to my car. I drove fast and recklessly, I didn't care if I killed myself or someone else. I felt dead inside.

I made it home before I killed myself or someone else. I ran to the back of my house and into the woods on the edge of my garden. It began to rain and I felt powerless. I slipped on a rock into the mud and I had no energy to get up. I lied down in the mud and cried hard, harder than ever before because I let myself believe a lie. I believed that Humphrey loved me, that he would keep his word that he cared about me, and that I didn't love Gatsby.

"I love Jay Gatsby…"

I felt lighter and happier. I felt relieved but I still felt broken inside. I cried harder into the mud because I knew I lost Jay when I screamed at him to leave me alone all those months ago. He would laugh at me and tell me that he was right. He would never love me…

A flash of lightening followed by thunder shocked me but I still didn't get up. I cried even harder and I wished for a second chance.

"OLD SPORT!"

In a flash of lightening, I saw people around me and when I could see again, I saw Daisy, Jay, Jordan, Tom and Arthur standing over me. I couldn't speak, I was in shock.

"HOLD ON NICK! PLEASE!"

Jay picked me up, covering himself in mud and the little blood that poured from my open cut on my forehead. I felt numb and tired. He carried me to his mansion and told the staff to clean one of the guest rooms.

"You two, help her into the bath and make sure she's ok."

"Of course."

Jordan and Daisy took my arms and helped me into the grand bathroom. Daisy started the bath while Jordan and I stripped my clothes off. They helped me in and Daisy stayed with me so I wouldn't drown myself. After I washed myself, Daisy helped me into flannel bottoms and a night shirt. Jordan braided my hair and they smiled sadly at me.

"I'm so sorry. I was a fool. I should have believed you…"

Daisy and Jordan smiled and hugged me. Although I was already warm from the bath and the warm clothing but I warmed on the inside when they were still there and still willing to love me.

"I love you, Nicolette."

"Me too, sweetheart."

My tears returned but they no longer were sad and salty, they were sweet and warm; 'Tears of Joy' I believe they're called. They helped me to the drawing room where Tom and Arthur were standing together, speaking heatedly.

"Old Sport…"

I looked to the chair and saw Jay in a clean shirt and bottoms. He stood and picked me up like he did outside. He settled me in his lap and everyone crowded around us.

"Oh Jay, I'm so sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry about."

"But…"

"Nick you have every right to be sad and unhappy."

Tom took my hand and wiped my tears away. Daisy took his hand and kissed my forehead.

"I'm sad and angry and hurt but…"

"But what, Ms. Nick?"

"I'm so surprised that you all came back for me. I shut you out and told you to go away but you came back when I needed you. You should hate me…"

I began to cry again but Jay took my chin and looked into my eyes.

"Nicolette, I could never hate you, you mean so much to me."

I'd love to believe that he meant those words in the way I wanted him to. But the fact of the matter is that I was one of his only friends, of course he cared about me. He didn't trust a lot of people and for good reason too. People are evil, rude, hurtful and ugly on the inside, they may appear sweet but they are evil.

They stayed around me and tried asking me questions but I didn't answer any of them. I was afraid of speaking. I was tired but I was afraid to fall asleep. Jay never let me go, no matter at times when I started to cry, when I wanted to run away again, he never let me go. It felt like a dream, a dream that will end quickly if I sleep.

"Nicolette?"

I lifted my head to Daisy and Jordan and Tom who stood up and held Daisy's hand.

"We need to go home, Pam will worry."

I snapped to life and looked at them.

"Of course go, I'll be fine. I love you all…"

Jordan and Daisy kissed my forehead and Tom hugged me as best he could while I was in Jay's lap.

"He was a piece of trash, Nick, and he threw away the best thing he will ever have for a whore."

I cried at the truth in his words. As I watched them walk away I turned to Arthur and spoke.

"You don't need to stay Arthur dear. You can go home."

"Aw, Miss Nick, I don't have a home anymore."

"What?"

I slowly stood up and placed my socked feet on the cold floor. I walked to Arthur and he flinched a little at my stance.

"I was living with Miss Myrtle and Mr. Wilson and since I, well, exposed her for the cheater she is, she told me to never come back or else I'd get shot."

I placed my hand on his cheek and smiled. My face felt strange about smiling, mostly because I had no reason to.

"Arthur use my house, I have an extra bedroom."

"Miss Nick…"

"No buts. Go."

Arthur grunted lowly and turned to the door. When he got to the threshold, he looked back and smiled at me.

"Good night Miss Nick."

I waved him goodbye and just stood there; I could feel my depression sinking back into my body, its heavy weight on my bones, crushing my spirit. I didn't feel like myself. I felt sick and worthless. I felt like the whore, not the valuable woman they make me out to be.

"Nick…"

Jay walked behind me and wrapped his arms around me. He felt so close and so warm; it felt right to close to him. I shrugged off his arms and took a step forward.

"I should go home…"

"But you are home."

I turned to look to him and I looked down at the floor.

"Gatsby, don't be nice. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve your kindness."

He come close and lifted my chin and he looked into my eyes. His baby blue eyes looked into my sapphire eyes; they were sad and painful to look into.

"You deserve the best and I'm not mad at you. You're staying here for the night."

He again picked me up and carried me to a guest room. He placed me on the soft bed and he tucked me in.

"Jay wait!"

He stopped and came back to the bed. His eyes worried and upset.

"I'm…I'm afraid to sleep. I'm afraid I won't be able to wake up."

He said nothing and he lied on the comforter next to me.

"We can talk."

* * *

We talked all night, about everything. He talked about his part in the war and his brief love for Daisy. When he realized he could never love Daisy the same way after the horrible things he saw, he told her to marry someone else. Through the pain, they became friends and he learned more and more about me from her and Tom.

He began to care for me.

He told me he remembered that I wanted to be famous and live with a rich man to be happy and to have a garden all to myself. He wanted to be able to give me everything I wanted.

When he was done, I began my side of the story. I retold the war from my eyes. The horror of leaving my friends behind and watching man after man die. I told him about my overbearing father and my mother who died the year before I came home. That's why my hair was so long. She always wore her hair long.

I told him everything from the day I came to today to my flight into the forest. I began to cry and I wondered when I would cry myself dry. I told Jay everything except for my feelings for him. I was translucent and no longer mysterious, which is something I prided myself on.

At dawns light a doctor came in and checked me out. He made sure I wasn't hurt too badly.

"She'll be fine. Just make sure she is stable and she'll be good as new."

"Thank you I'll pay you on the way out."

Jay and the doctor left me in the room alone and I took out my lighter and cigarette case. I stepped out to the veranda and smoked silently, watching the day break over the sky.

Two long arms wrapped around me and I handed Jay a cigarette and my lighter. He gladly took it and puffed on the little stick. He still didn't let me go.

"Doctor says you'll be fine if you don't hit your head again for a while."

"Gatsby…"

He didn't respond and he kept me close. We could see the sun rising just over the peak of the trees.

"Nick, would you like to go swimming with me? I haven't used that pool all summer."

I looked down at the pool and saw leaves falling. Summer was ending and fall was coming.

Fall.

Fall.

Fall!

"Oh my God!"

I left Jay's warm embrace and ran to the door.

"What's the matter?!"

"MY BOOK PUBLISHERS WANT MY FINAL DRAFT BY FALL! I DON'T HAVE TIME! MY BOOK'S STILL UNCOMPLETED!"

I ran to my house and dressed quickly to go into town to ask for more time. I ran out to my car and Jay was still there.

"Old Sport wait!"

"Jay I promise I will come back! I just need more time!"

I jumped inside and waved goodbye and screamed at him to go swimming, that I'll join him as soon as I get back. I started the car and drove out of there as quickly as I could. I saw a familiar red car fly past me towards Jay's mansion. I stopped the car.

"Humphrey?! What in the hell?!"

I turned the car around and drove faster than before back home. I jumped out of the car while it was still running and I ran to the shouting.

"You took her away! You're gonna pay!"

What I saw made my skin crawl and my blood freeze. Humphrey was holding a gun to Jay's head.

"JAY!"

It wasn't the smartest move I made but it was the only thing I could think of. Humphrey turned around in shock and the gun went off in his hand. Instead of hitting Jay's head, it hit me in my leg. I fell to the ground and cried out in pain. I could feel the blood pumping out of my leg but I didn't care about the pain. I wanted to know Jay was ok.

"Nicolette!"

"Move you piece of trash!"

Jay's form came into view and I smiled sadly. I sat up enough to hug him tight to make me forget the pain. I looked up and saw Humphrey aim his gun again. I stood in front of Jay and I got shot in my arm.

"Nick!"

"Don't you dare touch her you…"

"SHUT YOUR MOUTH HUMPHREY REIN!"

I was furious that he was here and that he planned on shooting Jay.

"WHY ARE YOU HERE YOU SON OF A BITCH?! I HATE YOU; YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE HERE! LEAVE MY LIFE AND NEVER COME BACK!"

He didn't say anything. He aimed the gun at Jay and I stood up again. I didn't care how many times I got shot, I needed to protect Jay.

"WHY DO YOU PROTECT HIM?!"

"YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH YOU PIECE OF TRASH?! I'M PROTECTING HIM BECAUSE I LOVE HIM!"

Everyone was silent and still.

"THAT'S RIGHT I LOVE JAY GATSBY! I LOVE HIM! I LOVE HIM!"

My vision was fading and I could feel my breathing jump.

"I love Jay…"

I heard a gunshot but I couldn't tell who was hurt.

* * *

I felt sick and the room was way too bright for my eyes. I looked around the room and saw some people I knew.

"Daisy…Tom…"

My voice was weak and it hurt to talk but they jumped up and ran to my bedside and looked at me worriedly.

"Oh my dear, look at you!"

"You look terrible!"

"Tom, where's Jay? Where's…where's Gatsby?"

"Sweetheart, Jay is at home. We told him to go home. He was here since you arrived."

"What?"

"Humphrey shot himself after you blacked out. Jay then drove you to the hospital and called the police to the mansion. You were out for a couple of days."

I leaned back into my pillow and smiled. Not because Humphrey was dead but because Jay wasn't.

Wait if Jay wasn't dead…

I sat up and called for the doctor. When he came he told me I could leave in an hour if I was up for it.

* * *

I walked up the familiar path to the pool and noticed someone else was there. Gatsby was kneeling over the dark red stain in the white cement. He looked like he was crying but I knew better.

He was praying.

Gatsby was praying for me.

Gatsby was praying for me because…

"Jay…"

He suddenly looked back at me and he did one of the queerest things I had ever seen.

Jay Gatsby, the most mysterious man in New York, the man every man wanted to be, the man every woman wanted to be with, stood up straighter like a pole and began to cry. He ran to me and held me tight in his arms, afraid to let me go. I held on with just as much force.

He was crying into my shirt and I was crying into his…overalls?

I backed up slightly to find that he was indeed wearing overalls while I was wearing a blouse with a skirt. I began to laugh harder than the day I was with Jay.

"Nicolette?" He sounded worried and upset.

"Jay, what are you wearing?"

"What…I…"

"Jay, aren't you afraid someone's going to see you?"

I used his own words against him and when he realized what I said, he stopped crying and began to laugh. It wasn't a fake laugh either; it was a laugh I had never heard before. It was a really good hard laugh that shows he was truly amused by my answer.

"God Nicolette…"

"Gatsby, were you crying?"

"What?"

"Crying, Jay; were you crying just a second ago?" I felt myself smirk and watched him carefully.

"And what if I was, Old Sport?" His tone was like a challenge and I gladly took it.

I took two steps forward and grabbed his face, his eyes full of slight fear and curiosity. I kissed Jay Gatsby, a man who was wearing the poorest grab on the planet, a man who I thought was untouchable, a man who didn't seem real. When I let his face go, I took a step back and turned around.

"Old Sport…"

I didn't get too far when I felt two strong arms hold me tight and I felt someone whispering into my ear.

"I love you Nicolette Carraway."

"I love you Jay Gatsby."

And like the ending of a cheesy overrated romance novel, the sun began to set on us, bathing us in the glow of the ending of the day. I never wanted to leave this place and I'm sure Jay wouldn't let me.

At this point dear reader, I am told by my publishers that I must thank some people before I conclude this autobiography.

I must thank my father (deceased) and mother (deceased), my darling family, Daisy and Tom and niece Pam. I thank my friends Jordan Baker and Arthur Gunway. I must thank my soldier and his family, Private Darren and Lauren Darren. And finally I thank one of the most important people in my life, Mr. Jay Gatsby, father of our son, Drake, and love of my life.

Rest in peace mother and father.

Rest in peace Humphrey Rein.

Without these people, I wouldn't be here and breathing, happy and full of life.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Notes: Hello and welcome to this chapter! I decided to make this in Gatsby's POV. So without further adieu! (I own nothing!)

* * *

When I first laid eyes on her, I almost couldn't believe she existed. She was sitting on a bench, all alone, her head crouched over in some kind of journal. She would look up and stare at one of the two girls and she roll her eyes in contempt and envy. She was different than every other woman in town.

For one, she had long chocolate brown hair; every woman in town wore her hair short in the bob cut but not this girl. She let her long hair hang down in front of her face and every so often she would push it back behind her ears. She would chew on her bottom lip every so often and then scribble something down in that journal.

"Jordan, sweetheart, would you mind so terribly if you took my shift at the Red Cross today?"

"Of course not!"

The girl with long hair lifted her head and rolled those sapphire eyes once more before writing franticly into the journal. I watched her because she was such a strange thing to behold. Her shoulders tensed and I knew she found me out. As she looked up, I smiled my warmest smile and waved; she looked so confused but she recovered and sheepishly waved back.

"Please excuse me, ladies."

I stood and walked cautiously towards the young lady sitting all alone. She seemed to stop breathing but perhaps that was a trick of my mind.

"Hello." She sounded scared and timid.

"Good afternoon, what is a lovely woman doing here all alone?"

"I'm not alone. Anyway, I see you know my cousin."

I looked back at the women, who were giggling at something.

"Which one?"

"Daisy Fay, the other's my friend, Jordan Baker. My name's Nicolette Carraway."

"What a queer name." She relaxed and smiled into her book resting in her lap.

"Yes, but I like it. My friends called me Nick or Nicolette."

"Nick…" She smiled once more and so did I. I offered her my hand to go to the other side of the street to Daisy and Jordan. She refused my hand but walked towards the smiling women.

"Is that why you left us, Jay?" I tensed at my name. I don't know why I did or why I felt like I needed to be nervous about my name. She looked at me and smiled in a playful manner.

"Is that your name?"

"Yes…" She smiled even brighter and said, "And you called my name queer."

I laughed lightly and smiled at this girl. This odd girl with long brown hair and sapphire eyes. She was something else altogether. She raised her hand and I grasped it with mine. How small it looked in mine. I kissed it and suddenly a shock like one of a live wire coursed through my being.

"Daisy, your cousin is as witty as she is pretty."

Nick smiled and giggled, turning away from me as she did so. The blush on her face was too adorable to miss and the women laughed at her shyness. I had to know something important about her before I had to leave for war. I wanted, no needed, to know what she planned for her life.

"I want to be a writer. I'm going to be famous someday and I'm going to live in the most beautiful city in the whole world. I'm going to be married to a wonderful man with money and I'll have a garden, yes…yes…a garden all to myself."

Her eyes were sparkling like gems as she spoke of her dreams and I felt myself light up. She walked towards the house and unlocked the fence when she looked back at us. She met my eyes and ducked behind the fence. A moment later, an aeroplane came out of nowhere. I caught it in my hands and unfolded it.

'Stay safe soldier. Come home to all the beautiful ladies who need men like you.'

* * *

Five Years Later That note never left my side. During the war, I would read the note and hope to go home to the beautiful funny girl called Nicolette. I had moved to New York in hopes to make my fortune. I live right across the sound in West Egg from Daisy and Tom in East Egg. Despite the once brief love for Daisy, Tom and I have become good friends as I had with Daisy. She would look over the sound at my house and tell me over and over that my grand house must be so lonely.

But this time was different, Daisy was almost bouncing in her seat at something exciting.

"Oh Jay! I have the best news to give!"

"What is it?"

"Nicolette! She's coming to live here! Her books are selling and she's coming here!"

I froze with the bottle of whiskey in my hands. Tom walked in and told her that Nicolette was on the phone. Daisy rushed out and I recovered from my shock when Tom laid his hand on my shoulder.

"This is your chance, Jay."

It was my chance.

My chance to finally woo the woman of my dreams.

* * *

I watched all day for her to come when a taxi pulled up to the small cottage next to my home. Out of the backseat popped a petite woman with long chocolate hair tied back in a ponytail by a ribbon. She was given her bags and she went into the cottage when she noticed the large window facing my house.

She looked at me and waved out of politeness before closing the heavy curtains. I was stunned, she looked like she had never aged a day!

For the next few days, she had been in and out of the cottage, organizing it and moving in to make it a home. It was on Friday that she had pulled on her overalls and got into the patch of dirt that I knew she planned to make into a garden.

I got excited and told my butler to hand deliver the invite to the party tonight to the woman in the garden next door. I nearly ran to my room and looked through the clothes that I had sent from England. I dug throughout the pile to find something to wear but nothing looked right! I was ready to give up when I spotted the silver and sapphire ring. My eyes wondered to the pile of shirts and saw a silver shirt. The shirt was almost the same shade as the metal of the ring!

I looked at the shirt and remembered the lavender suit and purple tie I had worn one time at Daisy's. She remarked that it reminded her of Nicolette. I smiled and readied myself for the party. I waited for hours just to spot the woman who haunted my dreams. I had begun to worry that she didn't come when a woman walked up the stairs and looked all around for someone. Nicolette was beautiful; she pulled that long brown hair with a black ribbon and she was wearing a baby blue dress.

She sipped her drink and looked around for someone again. I smiled and walked to her side.

"Having a good time Old Sport?"

She looked at me and smiled a little, the pink hue of her cheeks spreading. She looked around and shouted over the roaring crowd.

"Quite though I wish I knew this 'Gatsby.' The man seems to be a ghost."

She didn't remember me. I felt a little sick but I managed to hide it. I knew the fireworks were going to go off soon and I shouted over them so she could hear me.

"I'm Gatsby! Jay Gatsby!"

"Jay…"

For a small moment, there was confusion but then, like the birth of a star, Nicolette's face lit up and I knew she remembered who I was. I took her hand like I had dreamed of doing so many times before. She smiled and laughed in shyness.

"Welcome Old Sport, to my humble abode."

"It's so good to see you again, Soldier."

I pulled her away from everyone, from everything and into the library. The loud noise of the party was almost instantly gone and we were left standing there. I was bubbling on the inside but I couldn't let it show.

"I can't wait to talk to you."

"Master Gatsby, Chicago is on the phone."

I waved the butler away and pulled Nicolette to one of the green armchairs that I had in the library. Many times I had sat in the chair, reading or talking on the phone, thinking about everything and sometimes nothing at all. Now she sat there, she was there, in the chair looking at me with friendship in her eyes.

"How long has it been Old Sport?"

"I'd said five or six years, friend. You made quite a name for yourself here."

"Well yes, I dare say I've been quite fortunate to have such a vast amount of money."

I kept watching her out of the corner of my eye. She noticed my clothing and she kept looking me over. Her eyes went glassy-eyed and I took this time to grab the book I was reading before she came to town.

"You have my book…" She trailed off, looking like she was surprised that her book even sold.

"You're a talented writer, Old Sport, a lot better than most today."

"You…you really think so?"

"I know so." She blushed and looked at me in a way that made my stomach turn and flip. She stood and I handed her the book when she reached for it. She opened it to a page and read clearly from the text.

_"'Never in my life have I found a more interesting man than Mr. Robert Falls. Even with his millions and priceless gems and clothes, he was humble and generous to everyone he met. Strong like a soldier but gentle like a gentleman; I am proud that I, Rose Danielle Fay, am able to call him my closest friend.'"_

She closed the book quietly and I was in awe at her. I remembered how soft spoken she was when I first met her. Nicolette had really grown up in the five years that we've been apart.

"I hope you know I based him off of you."

"Me?" She smiled and laughed. I would never get sick of seeing that smile or hearing that lovely laugh. It sounded like the summer breeze and notes off the piano.

"Yes, you. From the moment I met you, Gatsby, I knew you were gonna be big. But I never in my wildest dreams imagined how big!"

I smiled and took her hand to lead her back to the party. That shock, that wonderful fantastic shock, was stronger than ever. I couldn't imagine letting her go again.

"Let's rejoin the party before they tear my house apart."

* * *

That night was the first night in years that I enjoyed my own party. Most of the night was spent talking and drinking with Nicolette; she became looser with every drink she had. It was unnerving for me to watch her become a different woman when she drinks; the scariest part of the party was went she disappeared.

I spent an hour looking for her when I saw someone stumbling to her cottage. The person looked back and I watched Nicolette go inside. The party dimmed after she left and I retired to my chambers overlooking the sound.

I watched the stars shine over the water and for the first time in years, I slept soundly.

* * *

The next morning, I walked over to Nicolette's cottage, the morning dew still wet on the grass; I noticed how untamed her lawn was, how over grown the ivy was on the walls; it looked like something from a story. I knocked and waited for the door to open, trying to fix my tie before Nicolette opened the door.

"Gatsby?"

"Old Sport, lovely morning isn't it?" She stepped outside and looked around for a moment. She looked tired and I could tell she had something of a headache.

"Quite. What are you doing here?"

"You left before the party was over and I wanted to make sure you were ok."

Her eyebrows furled in concentration and she shook her head a little. Her face was tense and it unsettled me a little. I begun to worry when she smiled sheepishly. "Oh…I'm sorry."

"Whatever for Old Sport?"

"I was a little drunk and I decided to come home before I said or did anything I might regret."

It sounded logical but I was worried, scared, the list could go on. Nicolette lifted her head and closed her eyes to the morning sun on her face. She looked so peaceful, so relaxed. I wanted to touch her because I wasn't really sure if she was real. She opened her eyes, inspected my outfit and smiled nervously.

"I was wondering if you would like to come to the city and have brunch with me and a friend of mine."

Her eyes met mine and I smiled out of habit.

"Of course, I would love to come."

My smiled got bigger and I walked to my lovely car. I didn't hear her walking behind me, though.

"Just…let me get dressed."

I looked back and realized she was still in her night clothes. She smiled sheepishly and I shied away because I didn't want to embarrass her. When she finally was ready, we took off in my car. We rushed by people who honked at us and cried out to us, the partygoers from last night cheering for us. We got a little further down when a silly man on a motorcycle pulled up beside us and called himself the police.

I rolled my eyes and showed him the card with the commissioner's name on it. He pulled behind us and Nicolette turned around in her seat to watch him do so.

"How did you do that?"

"I was able to do a favor for the police commissioner once. He sends me a Christmas card every year."

I swerved around a blue car and she sat right in her seat again as people waved and cheered as we went by. It was almost amusing to watch her get amazed by the little things.

"Old Sport, what do you think of me?"

"Whatever do you mean?" I looked at her for a moment and brought my eyes back to the road.

"I mean, when you hear my name, what do you think of?"

Nicolette became very silent, not even looking at the people waving to us like she was before. She was so deep in thought that I began to worry. I seem to be doing that a lot lately when it concerns her.

"Old Sport?"

"What do I think of you?"

She turned herself towards me and smiled.

"When I hear your name, three words pop up."

She held up her hand and laughed silently. "Grand," lowering her thumb. "Dazzling," smiling that brilliant smile. "And honorable."

"Honorable?" That one shocked me a little.

"Yes, Gatsby, honorable; you are so generous that you throw expensive parties for people you hardly know and someone told me you once gave a woman a dress because she tore hers on a chair!"

I didn't say anything more because this all seemed so strange. This little woman has haunted his dreams during the war and after so many years, she has just walked back into my life like she never left it. She thought I was grand and dazzling but honorable? I admit, I am generous to others but I hardly count that as honor.

I was losing track of where I intended us to go and nearly missed the exit. I drove us to the restaurant where Tom and Daisy were waiting for us. I gave the car keys to the valet and ushered Nicolette inside.

"Nicolette!"

"Daisy!"

It was almost beautiful how the girls greeted each other, Daisy and Nicolette just hugging and laughing like they hadn't seen each other in forever.

"Nick, this is my husband, Tom."

"How do you do?"

"Now Nick, there's no need to be so formal!"

Tom stood up and bear hugged Nicolette, picking her up in the process before setting her back down. I pulled her a chair and we sat down to talk when the music started playing. Daisy tried to get Nick on the dance floor but over and over she refused to go. Tom and Daisy walked into the crowd, leaving us alone.

"Why can't you dance?"

"Never learned." That was a big lie. Daisy talked about how many times she caught Nicolette dancing and how she tried teaching her once.

"Why don't you try?"

"Cause I know I'm no good."

"Didn't you ever try?"

"No." Another big lie.

"Then why don't you?" I had her then and I told her to get out of the chair or I would pull her out of it myself. I walked her out to the dance floor and I tried dancing but she kept pulling out of my grasp. I pulled her back into my arms and told her that I wasn't going to let her go.

"But Gatsby!" She pulled out again and ran to the restrooms when I finally caught up with her. She looked like she was terrified of me. I adjusted my emotions and tried talking to her in a softer tone.

"Old Sport, why are you so against dancing with me?"

"I…"

"Yes?"

"I…I don't want to embarrass you."

"What?" She looked down at the ground and I asked her again.

"I…I don't want you to be embarrassed about dancing with me. I can't dance and Daisy tried teaching me before but I just stumbled and fell a lot. I just didn't want you to be embarrassed by me."

Embarrassed by her? How could anyone be embarrassed by her? I pulled her gently to the floor and waved to the band for a slower song. I knew the band leader and he owed me for a favor. The crowd thinned and we began to sway to the music. Some of the couples were moving in circles to the music but I was perfectly fine swaying to the music with this wonderful, beautiful woman.

When the song ended and we finally separated, I could only smile and think to myself, 'That wasn't too bad, now was it?'

* * *

"Enjoying yourself, Old Sport?"

"I am. Where are you going dressed up like that?"

"Business meeting in the city; I just saw you here and thought you'd like to know, Old Sport."

She was beautifully modest as she rested her head on her arms. She seemed so happy, so content, so relaxed that almost nothing could make her mad.

"That's sweet of you, Gatsby."

Her eyes met mine and for the longest time, we didn't move, didn't speak. It was like her eyes trapped mine and she seemed lost in the vast escape that was her beautiful mind. I had seen her like this before. She would sit on her porch and just stare at the water. She would sit and think for hours on end until the milk man came or the sunlight rested on her face.

"Gatsby shouldn't you get going, your meeting?" Meeting? What meeting?

"Oh, oh yes! My meeting! Would you like to, um, go into the city later today after my meeting?"

"That's a sweet gesture Gatsby but I need to tend to my garden."

"I can have my servants…"

"Thank you but no thank you, Gatsby; I don't like anyone but me to touch my garden."

I helped her up from the wooden dock and walked her to the door. She seemed so wonderful and so protective over a patch of dirt that could grow some flowers or anything she wanted. I couldn't imagine why.

"What if someone you knew wanted to help you?"

"Then they need to be ready to learn how to garden. Enjoy your meeting, Gatsby."

She walked inside and I smiled broadly; she wanted someone that already knew how to garden to spend time in that precious dirt she had.

* * *

I stood there for what seemed like forever just watching Nicolette in the dirt. She moved plants, shovels dirt, pulled the weeds that choked the dirt. I wasn't standing in the shadows to be secret but to hide myself. I worried about if someone saw me the way I was. I was wearing farmer's clothes and a straw hat; I looked like one of my gardeners!

'Come on Gatsby! Be a man, be a man for Nicolette!'

I sighed and walked over to the garden, blocking some of the sunlight falling on Nicolette.

"Would you like some help?"

She looked up and I could tell she couldn't recognize me at all. "Old Sport, it's me."

"Gatsby! You're in overalls and a straw hat! You almost look like a farmer or a gardener!"

I smiled out of nervousness and I looked around again. I felt so exposed, so different, so weak. I felt like nothing.

"What's the matter, Gatsby?"

"I haven't worn this outfit in the longest of time. I'm afraid someone will see me."

"Well I saw you."

"You're different; I only wore this to see if you would let me help you. It seems like a giant job if you do it on your own."

She wiped the sweat off her brow and told me that I could help; I dropped to my knees and begun to plant the delicate little flowers into the little holes I would make for them. I identified each one of them: White lace, baby's breath, roses, and pansies where the main ones that I recognized.

She asked me how I knew how to plant and I lied about learning from my gardeners. I didn't want her to know the truth about me yet. We worked long and the work was tiring but I have to admit, the garden actually looked like a garden. The familiar smell of wet dirt and water filled my nose and I think for the first time in forever, I didn't get sick to my stomach.

"You look so handsome, Mr. Gatsby."

"Handsome?"

"Yes, Mr. Gatsby, handsome."

"How can you think of me as handsome when I am like this?"

I looked at my dirty clothes and felt so silly. Handsome? How can someone like me be so handsome like this?

"I don't see the dirt or the dirty clothes but rather…the man in the dirty clothes, the man who chose to help me personally rather than let me do it by myself…"

I smiled because it was easy for her to think of me as honorable and grand and wonderful and all those words she thought I was, but it was another thing to still see me in that light even when I'm not as grand as I hope to be.

"I don't know about you but I'm going to get clean now. Thank you Gatsby."

"It should be me thanking you."

"Gatsby?"

"You said you wouldn't let anyone touch your garden but you. You let me help you; you trusted me with some you held precious."

She looked at the garden as if looking at it for the first time and once again got lost in a train of thought. She looked so peaceful when she got lost in her own mind.

"What do you think of Old Sport?"

"What?" She asked, suddenly startled that I was talking. I never meant to ask her but I couldn't chicken out now.

"I said, what are you thinking of, Old Sport?"

"A nice hot shower, Gatsby."

She bowed her head and walked quietly back to her house and I turned to mine. I looked back at the bright cottage and shook my head. Close but so far away.

* * *

I wanted to treat Nicolette to something special, to give her the things that she deserved. So I did what I thought every girl liked to go: go shopping. It was a normal shopping trip except for when a store clerk began to argue with me about Nicolette.

He made some bull about her hair being an autumn instead of a spring and I was getting frustrated. Nicolette was waiting patiently for us to begin acting like civil adults again when I studied her looks.

I was no expert on women's clothing but I had a vague idea of what made a woman a summer or winter or what have you.

Nicolette's long brown hair hung in little waves, possibly from the bun she put in the night before. Her large blue sapphire eyes looked dreamily into the distance and her head was resting on her hand; her skin was tanned and she looked so lovely.

"What if, old sport, what if she's…a summer?"

Nicolette snapped out of her dream-like state and clapped loudly, smiling like she just watched a brilliant performance at the theater.

"You knew what you were?"

"Of course, I may be a farmer's daughter but I'm also a lady."

"Why did you tell us?!" She looked very cool and calmly spoke to the salesperson.

"You and my friend were fighting so loudly about it that I couldn't voice my opinion."

I was about to lose it myself except I saw this look in her eyes; a look of pure joy and happiness, a look of absolute fun that I found myself laughing as loud as she was as the man walked away.

"You're a tricky one, Old Sport."

The salesperson brought back the clothes for a summer girl and one by one, Nicolette tried on the clothes. With each passing outfit, she was getting madder and madder until finally I stood to yell at the dim-witted salesperson.

"No, no, no! It's not right! Everything's wrong!"

"But sir we have the most extensive summer fashions in all of New York!"

I began arguing again because I couldn't think of anything else to do. Nicolette was unhappy, I was unhappy, and this stupid son of a-

A sharp loud whistle broke the air and we turned to look at the pile of clothes she had picked out. These were more like her, I handed the salesperson a tip and told Nicolette to get dressed. I paid for her things and we walked out together; the air was tense and angry between us until she spoke up.

"I promise to pay you back, Jay…"

"Nonsense, I wanted to buy these things."

"But Jay…" I turned around sharply and she flinched. She flinched like I was going to hit her. 'Who did this to you, Nicolette?' I felt my heart breaking and she looked down at the pavement and I got her to look into my eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"Gatsby…"

"I'm sorry for doing that to you, to that salesperson. I just…I just want to give you everything you would ever want and the looks on your face…"

She reached to pull me out of the sidewalk and she didn't let go of my hand. It was like live wires in my arm leading straight to my heart.

"Gatsby, I was getting frustrated with myself. I didn't mean to upset or discourage you. Truth be told, I didn't mind the attention."

"You didn't?" I couldn't keep the hope from my voice.

"No, I wouldn't have cared if we were here in the city or back in West Egg, I…I just like spending my time with you." The rain opened up and we made a mad dash for the car. I wasn't worried that the seats would get wet or ruined but that Nicolette would become sick from the cold driving rain. I began driving faster home until I realized she was freezing. I wrapped her in my suit jacket and continued to drive. I nearly crashed the car when I realized something truly important. She called me Jay…not Gatsby but Jay…

* * *

We ran inside and my servants gathered our coats before someone running out to us and telling us that my pianist was awake and wishing to play for Nicolette. She looked so confused but I knew better.

My maid, Winnie, took us to my favorite room in the entire house and she and I left so we could find the pianist. I had three grand pianos in the house and the main on was in the grand ballroom for the parties. We couldn't find the lazy man anywhere so Winnie went to his room and I went to tell Nicolette about the delay.

She was playing the grand piano as well as, if not better than, my own pianist. She developed this beautiful, delicate and strangely sad piece. I could not place the song but I stood and she played and played on. My servants were standing behind me, equally as shocked as me. Nicolette's song became sadder when she changed the song into a minor key. It made one or two of my employees cry and I could see a slight tear run down her cheek. In what seemed like a few seconds, the music faded away, Nicolette's shoulders relaxed and she once again looked dreamy-eyed.

"How on Earth…"

"Mr. Edwin, please escort everyone out."

I sat on the piano bench and threw my arm around her shoulders. It tingled with excitement and nerves.

"Where did you learn to play like that?"

"My cousin taught me when I was staying with her. I also play the violin and the cello." She smiled shyly but I just laughed and smiled at her.

"My god, I've been hiring entertainment for ages and you were right next door!" Our combined laughter echoed through my home and I felt very lonely even though Nicolette was sitting right there. Nicolette looked at me and began to play a very slow but beautiful song. She smiled at me and hummed the melody out loud.

"Follow me, Gatsby." She placed my hand on the A, G and Middle C keys and showed me how to repeat the pattern over and over. When I got it, she continued to play the melody with her right hand. I realized we were working together and somehow were making beautiful music.

"It sounds sad, beautiful but sad…" She looked at me and told me to speed up just a little bit. She placed her hand higher up and hummed out the brighter key. The sound changed, it sounded like a song for a party.

"Better?"

"Much." She smiled and I smiled with her. This music was nothing like the music Nicolette made alone but this was their music. They made this wonderful, simple music together and that in itself was beautiful.

* * *

A couple a days later, Nicolette left in a coupe without a word to where she was going. I wasn't worried because she was a level-headed person. It wasn't until she rode up in the coupe with a man.

He was dirty and he wore overalls; she introduced him as Arthur. He kissed her hand and after he left, she left and I was left alone. I felt so…alone…angry…betrayed…afraid…everything that stabbed me like a knife in my stomach. I wanted to do something.

I wanted to go have a little talk with that Arthur.

I wanted to run over to Old Sport's cottage and tell her what I really had on my mind. Before I realized what was happening, I was halfway to her door when I stopped myself.

This was crazy! I was behaving like a little brat!

Nicolette is not bound to me! She has no reason to stay with me and live with me and make music with me… She no reason to stay with me; I shouldn't get jealous because she has someone in her life. Still, I was afraid. If I got this angry about a friend who was a man in her life, I was in no condition to see or speak to her. I needed to get away for a few days…

* * *

"More tea, Jay?"

"Please, Daisy…"

Tom and Daisy were too nice to me sometimes. Daisy offered me her extra room while I cooled down. I told her everything about the Arthur character and after I told her everything that I felt, I felt better and she gave me some advice.

"Jay, think about this. Nicolette is a level-headed person, she doesn't fly off the handle because of her emotions. She is so…controlled and stable that I am pretty sure that she will not just do something because she feels like doing it. She's a good person." I knew this was true but it didn't quell the storm in my heart and brain. But Daisy wasn't done yet.

"You know something Jay? I never understood why you liked her so much but I think I've finally figured it out." I looked up and once she saw that I had her undivided attention, she picked up her teacup and sipped it lightly.

"You always want a challenge."

"What?!" I began to cough on my tea but she didn't wait for me to continue talking.

"You want a challenge; when we were together, you were the man, I was the woman. I was always by your side, didn't do anything that I knew you wouldn't like and never really grew as a lover. But Nicolette is not me. She's controlled and secretive and everything that I'm not."

"But…"

"Jay, I've lived with her for years." She looked at me with a look of smug knowledge, "She strived to be everything that I wasn't. She doesn't like to flirt, she pushes a man's buttons until he pushes back. But once she has someone, she's loyal to a fault. She makes herself seem like the average woman of the world but she is one of the greatest mysteries of the world."

Daisy stopped and reached for a cookie before continuing.

"I know you've noticed how she leaves the world and goes somewhere else. She leaves the world when she has a problem, emotionally and physically. I saw it all the time when her father was trying to get her to marry the cheating son of a bitch, Humphrey Rein. She is so in tune with her thoughts that…sometimes…her judgment gets clouded and…she ends up getting hurt."

"What did he do?"

Daisy didn't answer me for a long time because she was trying to quell the angry storm behind her eyes. When she finally did speak, it was tense and quiet.

"Humphrey Rein was the son of a very wealthy man in our hometown. Nicolette was always very quiet and shy and one day, during my father's parties, Humphrey found her. In three little months, they were engaged and everything was ok. Then the lies and sleeping around happened; every single time Nicolette left the house, Humphrey was in bed with a maid or cook. I caught them one time too; I tried telling her but she never listened to me. It wasn't until she caught Humphrey in bed with her best friend. She broke off the engagement and left town, living in Pittsburgh for a while before the war."

Daisy looked at the old painting that hung over my head and I noticed how relaxed she became after she explained everything. "She decided not to let anything take her anymore. She became almost…numb," Daisy looked at me with a pained stare with a slight glimmer of hope in her eyes.

"But she smiles, Jay. She smiles! I had not seen that for years. And she laughs again! I was always worried that she would stay dead-panned, numb forever but you…you brought her to life again."

She smiled and stood up to face the window facing my home. A long time pasted before she finally looked back and frowned at me. "Why are you still here when the greatest mystery of your life is across the sound?"

* * *

I got to the front door and found it open. I assumed the worst but I found her laying down on the couch, rubbing her eyes from focusing on the typewriter for so long.

"Old Sport?" She sat up and I could tell that she was happy to see me. We talked for a while and I wanted to tell her something when she screamed loud and I turned around to find a man in a black tux holding flowers. He looked distressed and he dropped the flowers quickly.

"Wait Nick!" A moment of silence…

"Oh my God!" Nick ran outside and hugged the man like she had missed him, like she hadn't seen him for years. I felt a pit deep in my stomach; what if this was Humphrey? What if she never got over him?

"Private Darren, you old son of a gun."

"Nurse Nick, looking well." Private Darren noticed me standing a little away and he snapped to attention.

Suddenly a memory of a young, naïve soldier flashed in my mind and recognized the man as one of my solders during the war.

"Hello, Commanding Officer Gatsby."

"At ease, private." Nicolette looked at me and I could feel the question coming.

"Commanding Officer?" I nodded sheepishly.

"You were in the war?"

"Yes…you were a nurse in the war."

"Field nurse, I got shuttled around as the commanding officers saw fit." I felt like bashing my head into the side of the house but I didn't want to make a mess of her wall. I never would have sent her away if I knew that Nurse Nicky was my Nicolette!

"What are you doing here private?"

"I'm marring my sweetheart, Lauren, today. She wanted you to be a witness today."

"Today?!"

"Yes, you can bring someone if you wish." She ran into the house to change and suddenly I felt very awkward standing there with Private Darren.

"Gatsby, if you're going to this wedding, you better get dressed in five minutes or I will take Daisy!"

* * *

I knew my parties fascinated Nick because she always left mine or Jordan's side to explore my vast mansion. I never minded but after the silent car ride after the wedding and the avoiding after, Jordan and I didn't want her to leave our side.

After we let her leave to use the restroom there was silence between me and Jordan, who was drinking even more than usual. She looked at various men at the party and I kept telling her that she could go and mingle.

"Oh Gatzby, I'm fine."

I knew she wanted to go to bed soon so it didn't faze me when she stood up and said she was leaving to find a room. I'm not really sure what happened next but all I know is that Jordan tripped, I stood to help her and the next thing I knew, Jordan was kissing me.

I didn't move because I was in shock.

I heard someone grasping and saw Nicolette at the doorway. I pushed Jordan away and tried explaining myself when she started talking about some bogus promise to her father. I wanted to explain myself but she weaved in and out of the crowd and blended in.

By the time I followed her outside, she was pulling away from the party in a taxi to where I had no clue…

* * *

I walked to her cottage and sat on the porch. I was waiting for her to come home. I wanted to explain, to say I was sorry.

When morning came, Jordan was sober and Daisy joined the tense party. Jordan told Daisy everything and of course Daisy was quiet but furious at both of us. We were waiting for hours when Nicolette finally walked up. She looked tired and her eyes were still red and puffy but she had a pasted on smile on her face.

Daisy and Jordan jumped and ran to hug Nicolette before I started to explain.

"Oh Nicolette, we have something to tell you!"

"No need Gatsby. I figured out last night that you and Jordan were dating and I'm happy for you." I nearly threw up but not because Jordan is unattractive or anything. It was once or twice that I considered dating her but then my heart would painfully remind me of Nicolette. She was walking back to the house when she spoke next.

"My news is bigger; I'm re-meeting an old friend today. I believe he's pulling up…now." A man pulled up in a big and flashy car…one even flashier than mine. He was wearing a tan suit and a porkpie hat with a blue feather in the brim. His eyes looked kind and caring on the surface but I could see they were hard and cruel. I knew instantly that this was Humphrey.

"You! I thought you would know better than to come here again!" Nicolette ran out, jumped into his car and looked at me and Daisy in vain revenge.

"Don't wait up!" They took off in the car and in a spray of dust and wind, they were gone down the road. I felt so angry and jealous that I had to walk away into the garden we made together. This Humphrey had better watch out.

* * *

For hours I sat in the garden on the bench waiting for Nicolette to come home, to explain myself, to tell her the truth. Daisy had left with Jordan and came back around noon with some food she packed for me.

"Jay, we should go inside, the papers said it was going to rain today."

"Let it rain, I'm not going inside until I talk to Nick." Amazingly, she stayed with me all day and it didn't rain at all. It wasn't until late at night that Nicolette stumbled into the backyard. She looked terrible, like being with Humphrey was a temporary fix for her broken heart.

"Old Sport."

Nicolette saw me and Daisy sitting on the swing and she tried putting on this fake smile and tried to change her voice. Love her I do but she is a terrible actress.

"Cousin, Gatsby, what are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you sweetheart."

Daisy ran to hug Nicolette tight and for a moment her smile fell. She looked ready to cry.

"I wanted to make sure that piece of trash didn't hurt you."

"Don't speak of him that way."

Daisy was pushed away from Nicolette, who was looking furious but I knew better. Nicolette never got mad at anyone but rather, extremely frustrated.

"You don't know him. I saw him and he's changed. He really loves me and I love him."

"But Nick…"

"NO! No, Daisy I love you but I will not have you putting down Humphrey! If you are going to be rude and mean to him and our relationship then…then I won't hang around you or Tom anymore!" Nicolette ran to her cottage in sadness and anger while Daisy and I stood there in shock. Nicolette has never raised her voice to us…ever. We ran to her slammed door and began to knock franticly on the wooden door.

"GO AWAY AND NEVER EVER COME BACK!" We stopped knocking but I threw my fist against the door one last time before shutting my eyes against the wetness in them. Jay Gatsby has never, ever cried for someone…but…James Gatz…he was willing to cry for Nicolette.

* * *

For months we had no contact with Humphrey or Nicolette; every single day she was gone and with each day I was growing even more depressed. There were times when I didn't get out of bed because I knew Nicolette wasn't there.

However, I would see her in her window facing me; she would be dressed to the nines in something that he bought her, wearing the expensive make-up he wanted her to wear, and looking absolutely wonderful…but she would be crying the make-up off, wearing the uncomfortable clothes over something she would actually wear, looking like an absolute mess.

There would be times where our eyes would meet but she would always be the first to look away, too embarrassed to face me.

I missed that spicy, saucy side of her. I finally had to pull myself out of depression when Daisy called me up and told me that I had to be dressed and ready for the Ritz in twenty. I arrived a few minutes late and was directed to the top room where Daisy, Tom and He was sitting.

The air was tense and thick with smugness and anger until Nicolette arrived. She was beautiful, wearing a wonderful sky blue dress and not wearing any make-up at all.

She looked like herself again.

Humphrey walked over and took her in his arms, raising my blood pressure to almost the ceiling. I heard nothing of what Humphrey was saying but I understood why he was on one knee loud and clear. I was ready to attack the evil son of a bitch when Arthur ran in.

"Miss Nick! Before you say anything, I have something to tell you."

He explained that Humphrey has been messing around with Wilson's wife the whole time that he was with Nicolette.

For the longest time that I've ever known her, she was quiet and still. She glared at the man still kneeling on the ground and demanded the truth. She started screaming at Humphrey and for the slightest second, I thought I saw her glance at the ice pick that was sitting on the table. She stomped out of the room and said the saddest thing I have ever heard.

"I can't trust anyone. I can't love anyone. I…I deserve to live alone and miserable."

She ran down the hallway before anyone could stop her and finally the hate came pouring out of me. I punched Humphrey as hard as I could before Tom could stop me. I heard his jaw pop and a groan of pain from him as he was laying on the floor. I grinned and flexed my hand to make sure it wasn't broken.

"Gatsby, you could be arrested for assault!"

"Don't care," I growled out as I ran out the room. I had to get to Nicolette before she did something she would regret.

* * *

Daisy and Tom followed me in their car while I recklessly drove back to the cottage. I knew she wouldn't stay in one place for long so I had to stop her. I got to the cottage and found her car in the driveway but no lights were on. I pounded my fist on the door and when no one answered I started to panic.

Where would she go?

I felt myself die a little with each passing moment until softly, like a gentle wind above the howling wind, I heard a voice. "…Jay Gatsby…"

I strained to listen against the wind and again it came a little louder, "…Jay…"

I ran to the woods behind the garden and used the lightening to find someone crying in the woods when…I saw her. She was laying in the mud, heels broken and her head was bleeding; she stared vacantly at nothing and I couldn't see her breathing.

I was cold like ice and I felt my eyes watering as I saw Nicolette, MY Nicolette, dead in front of me. Humphrey was going to dead tonight.

"Nick…oh God, Nick…"

She stirred and blinked; hope filled my entire being and I tried talking to her. "Nick!"

She couldn't hear me under the roaring of the wind and by the time the others found me, I was straining to shout for her.

"OLD SPORT!"

She looked up at us and she looked like she was seeing ghosts. Her eyes were red and watery from crying and she looked like she couldn't remember who we were.

"HOLD ON NICK, PLEASE!" I picked up her shaking frame and made sure that she was comfortable in my arms. She came to my chest and held onto my shirt like it was the only thing keeping her up. I ran as fast as I could home so she could get warmer. I told Daisy and Jordan to give her a bath to keep her warm and safe. I quickly changed and waited for the girls to come back when Tom and Arthur questioned me about punching Humphrey. I decided to tell them the truth.

"Do you remember when she first came here? She was surrounded by a rainbow of color. She was everything a girl should be: modest, beautiful, wonderful, and colorful; that son of a bitch stole that from her! She is grayer than the sky outside. She couldn't see it but I did; I didn't do anything to save her from this heartbreak and that's my fault…if it means I have to spend everything until I'm a poor farmer again to have her trust me again, so be it."

"Everything, Jay?" I looked around my mansion and then back at the men.

"Every cent, Nick is worth more to me than anything else." The door opened and Nicolette was standing there, small and fragile between the girls. I stood up and took her in my arms once more before walking back to the chair. She kept trying to say she was sorry to us and we kept saying it didn't matter. She just couldn't believe that we loved her so much.

I almost lost her to a cheating bastard.

When Tom and Daisy had to leave, Nicolette snapped back to life and escorted them to the door. She offered Arthur her home when he told us the problem. Even now with a broken heart, she is trying to take care of everyone. I wrapped my arms around her from behind and told her that she was staying with me; did she really expect me to let her go? I took her to the guest room and tucked her in when she cried out.

"Jay, I don't want to sleep. I'm…I'm afraid I won't wake up…"

"We can just talk instead."

* * *

For hours, I told her everything about me; my family, the war, even the brief love for Daisy. What I didn't tell her was the love I had for her. I told her that I wanted to make her dreams come true, that she deserved the love she wanted.

When she starting talking about her mother and her long hair, I ran my fingers through the soft locks. Because of this hair, she stood out from the crowd like a swan from ducks. She honored her past unlike me, who tried burying it.

I continued to run my fingers through her hair until I felt her nod off. She slept for an hour before waking up again.

While she slept, I noticed the sun just coming up; I thought about the pouring rain outside and thought about rainbows. I know it's strange but it got me thinking about something I couldn't understand. In Nicolette's book, Rose kept telling Robert about the colors a person is but he can't understand anything she says until the ending when he is talking to her grave marker.

I think he said, 'Rainbows are made from the weeping of a storm and the rays of sunlight but this color in front of me…this new, scary and dreadful color…it is made of sadness…and uncertainty…"

At first I thought he was speaking of grief but as I look at this beautiful creature in my arms, I finally understand what he was talking about. It's about regrets.

Regret for loves lost, regret for family lost, regrets of things left unsaid. Rose hinted that she had feelings for Robert but he never told her that he loved her until the end of her life.

He regrets not seeing all the colors she wanted to show him and in the process, created a new color for himself, a color that he must look at forever.

* * *

The doctor came and made sure that Nicolette was fine at the crack of dawn and as I wondered back into the room, she was smoking on the veranda. I never knew she did that.

I joined her for a cigarette and we just stared at the sun over the leaves. I looked at her hands, which were shaking like the leaves falling from the trees. I looked to the pool and decided to have one more swim before it all goes wrong.

"Nick, would you like to go swimming? I haven't used that pool all summer."

She looked at the pool and then tensed like a coiled spring. I thought I went too far when she ran from my arms. She screamed that her book wasn't done, that she needed more time from the publishers to finish. As she pulled away from the front door, I felt the balloon in me deflating; now I knew how Robert felt.

* * *

I went to change into my swimsuit and had just stepped onto the patio before hearing a gun being cocked and loaded.

"Don't move." Humphrey.

"Don't hurt Nicolette."

"The only one I plan to hurt is you, Gatsby, it's all your fault that she left me. As soon as I get rid of you, I will marry Nicky and we'll finally be happy."

I couldn't help the bubbling laughter from coming as I heard this reasoning, "You thought I was the problem? You're the cheating bastard. You broke her heart, I'm trying to mend the pieces."

"That won't be necessary."

"JAY!"

Humphrey accidently shot Nicolette in the leg and I momentary forgot that he had a gun. I ran as fast as I could to her and tried stopping the blood. She hugged me and turned so she got shot in the arm. She was losing blood and yet she didn't care.

"Nick!"

"Don't you dare touch her you…"

"SHUT YOUR MOUTH HUMPHREY REIN! WHY ARE YOU HERE YOU SON OF A BITCH?! I HATE YOU; YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE HERE! LEAVE MY LIFE AND NEVER COME BACK!"

He went to shoot me again and again she got in his way; lucky he didn't shoot. "WHY DO YOU PROTECT HIM?!"

"YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH YOU PIECE OF TRASH?! I'M PROTECTING HIM BECAUSE I LOVE HIM!" Everyone was quiet; she loved me?

"THAT'S RIGHT I LOVE JAY GATSBY! I LOVE HIM! I LOVE HIM!" The blood was pumping out of her faster and I saw Humphrey raise the gun to his head.

"I love Jay…" There was a final gunshot and Humphrey fell in the pool. I picked her up and drove as fast as I could to the hospital. I couldn't lose her, not now, not ever.

* * *

"Jay, go home."

"No." I was still covered in blood and so tired I could sleep in the chair but I needed to be here for Nicolette. She needed to see me alive. I needed to tell her the truth.

"She'll be here, go clean up."

I didn't answer Daisy this time but Tom placed his hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him and he gave me the stern look of a father.

"Jay go home, we will call if she wakes up. Please…she wouldn't want to see you like this." I nodded and finally went home. I washed and made sure I was presentable but before I could leave my room, I decided to wear something that reminded me of Nicolette. I wore the overalls that I wore when we planted that garden and I decided to go to the pool to see if I could wash the blood off.

I know I could have someone else do it but it was something I needed to do; I wanted to forget that Humphrey did this to her, to erase him from memory. Before I could start, I felt a yearning deep inside of me, a yearning that I didn't feel for years; a yearning to pray. I kneeled on the cement and prayed for Nicolette, Daisy, Tom, everyone affected by Humphrey including myself.

In an act of goodwill, I even prayed for Humphrey, that he rested in peace and finally found God. I don't know how long I was kneeling there but the next thing I know, I'm being called by a familiar voice. As I stood up thinking that my entire world will never have any color again, I saw possible the most beautiful sight in my life; Nicolette was standing just a few feet from me, her hair was down and in her face and all I wanted to do was to push it out of her face. I stood up and I could feel the tears in my eyes but I didn't dare stop them.

I ran and held Nicolette so close that I could feel the blood leaving my fingers. She didn't move at all unless it was to rub her hand up and down my spine as we cried together. It was a while before she moved away and when she did, she began to laugh.

"Nicolette?"

"Jay, what are you wearing?"

"What…I…" I looked down to my clothes and felt so foolish. No wonder she was laughing, I looked like an idiot!

"Jay, aren't you afraid someone's going to see you?" She was smiling at me and the words turned slowly in my mind until I remembered the day we spent in her garden. I began to laugh because her humor was something I could never find somewhere else.

"God Nicolette…"

"Gatsby, were you crying?"

"What?"

"Crying, Jay; were you crying just a second ago?" She was still messing with me and frankly I didn't like it.

"And what if I was, Old Sport?" She took a couple of seconds to look into my eyes before grabbing my face. I thought she was going to punch me but she kissed me instead. She kissed me like I was going to disappear under the ground and never resurface again. I felt emotion explode in my chest, so powerful and rich that I could feel the Earth move.

She backed off, scared she had gone too far, and turned away as though to run away. I wrapped my arms around her and whispered those words she needed to hear.

"I love you Nicolette Carraway."

"I love you Jay Gatsby." And to this day I still do.


End file.
